01 21 12

I’ve been having issues with my friends lately, and, I dunno. I just thought pouring out my innermost feelings via this blog would help. Y’all don’t have to actually read this, lol.

I have been feeling so out of place when I’m with my friends, lately. It’s like I’m not even part of the group. Like, they aren’t really my friends; they’re just a bunch of people I spend my recess and lunch with. I feel so invisible when I’m with them. Like, really invisible. Is it because I’m not good enough, unlike them? Probably. I’m not pretty and popular and perfectly likable like the rest of my friends, which leaves me standing in the background, going unnoticed. It’s been like that ever since, and I’ve gotten pretty used to it already, but it still hurts a lot sometimes. I know where I stand; I know I’m just that unpretty, unpopular geek wallflower girl who, like some miracle, has the privilege of hanging out with some of the prettiest girls in our batch. But sometimes, I actually still do want to feel like I belong with them. And despite how lonely this is all making me feel, I wouldn’t want to have any other set of friends anyway. I enjoy their company, even though I usually just watch them have all the fun to themselves from a distance. 

All I ever wanted was to fit in, to actually belong somewhere. Is that too much to ask? 

(so much for the “drama-free 2012” I promised to myself. lol)

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